How Feminism Failed Us

T H A N K Y O UBeing a woman is hard. It’s tough for two big reasons.

First, no one taught us how.

Yes, Feminism failed us.

You see, feminism sought for us to be as powerful as a man.

But we never needed to be as powerful as a man.

We needed to be as powerful as our creator intended. A force to be reckoned with in every part of our lives.

A fully realized woman is a force to be reckoned with, but not at the expense of a man. Our power, or superpowers if you will, have a lot to do with our femininity. Instead of celebrating that and adding to it, it was cast aside.

Feminism led to us going back into the workforce, 70 percent of us are working now. There is a lot of good that came from that.

Yet, all of the sudden careers became the success story. School, grades, job, promotions. That defined success. That was how we were herded in school.

Because even when feminism added the workplace, it didn’t take away anything else.

Well, except maybe home ec. Instead of giving us more education, helping us to do more, feminism gave us the workplace at the expense of the other stuff. No longer do we teach girls how to cook, sew or balance a budget in school.

What, we can’t learn (and own) all of it?

The responsibilities that come with being a woman doubled, and the training was cut.

And why? Are those skills no longer needed in today’s world? Or are they just not as important as STEM?

And while we are grateful Feminism helped us, pushed us to pursue our passions, our purpose, there are some of us who were left stunned when part of that happened to be a family. Somehow wanting to be a mother or wanting to stay at home became disdainful. It wasn’t talked about, championed, trained.

That’s because, in large part the feminist agenda crushed the family. Birth control, career over family, abortion and other forces combined to see the birth rate fall from 3.6 births per woman in 1960 to 1.7 in 1976, a mighty time for feminism. (Fast forward to today, it’s only slightly better at 1.84) Instead of creating options, the outcome destroyed the family unit. The same unit that’s worked for thousands of years (#Aristotle).

But, it’s not sad to take care of a family. It’s not demeaning. It’s a gift. It’s a gift only a woman can do a certain kind of way. It’s a gift that a woman should feel good about, should feel charged up about, should feel proud of. It’s a gift that should be championed. As much as equal pay.

Somewhere along the lines feminism decided us getting into college and the boardroom were more important than than us being in the kitchen or in the mirror applying lipstick.

I think we can do both, or neither if we want. And as ladies, we should be offered both.

What’s worse is when we become moms, we’re left in a void created by feminism. We don’t know how to manage our identity as a mom because it’s been taken away. So, once we don’t fit the norm of success in society, we’re at a loss. And it shows up in the form of depression, loneliness, boredom, anxiety.

Our generation saw our moms try to do it all. They did what they could for us, but they couldn’t teach us what they didn’t know. And they certainly couldn’t prepare us for the insanity that womanhood is today.

Now it’s our turn. And we’re ready. Or at least we’re willing.

Statistics show women taking on the stay at home mom gig has increased by 6 percent in the last 8 years. Female Fortune 500 CEOs are also up 5 percent.

Unfortunately, we’ve got to forge a brand new, unseen path now. If it weren’t enough, there’s more.

The second reason why being a woman is hard is that the game has totally changed. The unreal expectations, the glorification of busy, the comparison games, the accumulation of stuff, the polarization, the devolution of the family nucleus.

Generations before, women had time to hang laundry on the line because, you know, they didn’t have as much laundry.

If you had a birthday party or two growing up, you were pretty lucky. Now it’s every year, every kid.

There’s contouring, there’s PTO, there’s couponing (as in, not coupons, couponing. A verb.) There’s really bad food and endless homework. There’s social media and a generation of war. There’s sex trafficking and texting in traffic.

The game has changed.

Yet we are ready for the challenge.

If all of that were it, that would be enough to contend with.

But then feminism robbed our men of their masculinity. It made strength a bad thing. Taboo.

But you know, we didn’t need our men weaker.

No, you see, a strong woman deserves a strong man.

We WANT a strong man. A partner, an equal, someone to strong enough to handle the force we are that is to be reckoned with.

Now boys have lost their ability to be trained up as the strong men we require as husbands. As fathers of our children.

Which, in turn, made even more work for us.

Furthermore, when feminism said women need men like fish need a bicycle, it didn’t fill the void left behind. One for companionship, one where we can find the one our souls love, that we can be feminine with. Because being feminine is a wonderful thing. And it is part of being a female.

Instead we’ve been tossed out into this “man’s world,” expected to act like a man.

But we are not men. My goodness, we are strong. We are fierce. We are capable of a lot of things.

But we cry. And it’s a good thing.

We like to be comforted by strong arms. And it’s a good thing.

We long for a fairy tale story. And it’s a good thing.

We have a desire to nurture. And it’s a good thing.

The good news is, it’s our chance to right the wrong. We appreciate what Feminism accomplished. But we see the hopefully unintended consequences.

And we’re ready. We’ll take it from here.

We were created for such a time as this.

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