Today I was chatting with a friend and client and I asked her what things would make her fill the most fulfilled, the most full. We were talking in terms of self care.
As we were brainstorming some things, one thing she mentioned was how having the dishes done for her or even dinner cooked for her by her partner was at the top of the list.
That prompted a discussion on the difference between self care and love languages.
Self care is simply taking care of yourself. A great definition of self care comes from Psych Central:
My definition of self-care is letting yourself do whatever you want to do.
So often we are wrapped up in doing things we have to do rather than want to do. That means taking care of others as well as working and chores. Those are important and necessary tasks of course. Many times, though, we can go all the way through a day without doing a single thing we actually want to do.
What a bummer.
It doesn’t have to be that way of course, though many of us have established habits and patterns that make it that way.
Simply the act of thinking about what you would want to do can be exciting and bewildering all at once. I mean, if we aren’t really doing it, we probably aren’t thinking about it either.
And there came my friend’s original problem as she brainstormed a list for self care. Not having to do something is not really self care. It’s a great start to and something to communicate with to those you love about. A lot.
Many times we don’t ask specifically enough for the help we need from our loved ones. If we are specific, honest and (lovingly, not naggingly) persistent enough, we can almost certainly get help from our loved ones. Love languages are awesome tools for relationships.
But, not doing the dishes isn’t self care. Learning love languages and practicing self care are both healthy parts of adulting and both are commonly missing leaving us anxious, sad, bored and lackluster.
What are your favorite forms of self care? What’s your love language? I’ll tell you about mine, you tell me about yours!
I am 100000% words of affirmation and a little of the others. I sometimes wish it weren’t true, but it’s just me!
My favorite forms of self care are running and reading. That sounds super boring but in my world they’ve become so necessary and so beneficial. Running means I’m on my own, free to think and move and be in nature. As a mom of three, homemaker and entrepreneur those are basically the opposites of my day that involves the have-tos. Likewise, reading requires silence, being still and it’s my way to pour into myself as much as I’m pouring into others. Being still and having quiet are things I desperately want but rarely get.
Most successful people in the world have a successful self-care regimen, they typically include exercise, sleep and reading. You’re a successful person (or at least you’re about to be). What is your self care regimen?