Fix your brain

Your life is moving in the direction of your strongest thoughts.

That’s what Pastor Craig Groeschel says. Before I convince you of that, pause and take a moment to think about what you think about. What are your strongest thoughts in life right now?

  • I’m too busy.
  • I’m unhappy.
  • My job sucks.
  • My kids never listen.
  • My marriage is in a rut.
  • I’ll never lose weight.

Now, I don’t know what thoughts YOU have but those are all things that I’ve thought before. The thing is, what does that thinking get us? Well, as I’ve done more and more studying and coaching on this issue, I’ve discovered exactly where it gets you.

As Pastor Craig says, your thoughts determine where you’re going. Well, I want to show you how, specifically, using the model I’ve learned from my Life Coach mentor Brooke Castillo.

  • C is for circumstance. These are the indisputable facts of the situation. This is what everyone would agree on.
  • T is for thoughts. Brooke says they are like sentences in your mind.
  • F is for feelings. This is how your thoughts make you feel INSIDE your body and brain.
  • A is for action. What happens when you have a certain feeling?
  • R is for result. What result does that repetitive action get you?

So, let’s take a few of my examples to get warmed up.

  • C = I have 24 hours in a day.
  • T = I am too busy.
  • F = Anxious. Frustrated. Overwhelm.
  • A = Look around at all there is to do and instead binge eat, drink or Netflix to avoid the feeling of overwhelm, which adds to the feeling of having too much to do.
  • R = Perpetually busy.

But, when we change our thoughts, we can change our results. This doesn’t mean we live in hippy dippy baloney make believe land. No, it just means we choose how to interpret a situation that serves us. Here is the example:

  • C = I have 24 hours in a day.
  • T = I get to choose what I spend my time on today.
  • F = Peace. Freedom. Hope.
  • A = Take a time inventory. Look at schedule, remove things that are not in alignment with priorities. Choose things that you want and need to accomplish. Say no thanks to everything else.
  • R = Accomplish what’s necessary and important to me.

One simple thought change completely changes the feeling and the action you will take. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to change that thought pattern since it is so well ingrained in your brain. But you can, with practice!

Let’s look at another example.

  • C = I have a job.
  • T = My job sucks.
  • F = Annoyed. Hopeless.
  • A = Show up to work in a funk. Don’t perform well. Slug through each day, barely making it.
  • R = Continue being unhappy at job.

Changing your thoughts doesn’t mean you have to lie to yourself. But you can choose what to focus on. Your brain likes an assignment. If you tell it to focus on the positive and start taking inventory of any smidgens of good/hope you can find in a circumstance you find negative, it will get to work overtime on proving you right.

  • C = I have a job.
  • T = My job provides for myself and my family. OR I like my coworkers. OR My work schedule allows me to do the things I enjoy on my time off. OR I can’t control everything about my job, but I CAN control what I do. I can make my small part enjoyable and be proud of my work.
  • F = Grateful.
  • A = Show up to work grateful, do a good job.
  • R = Peace with job.

How about one more?

  • C = I have kids.
  • T = My kids never listen.
  • F = Helpless. Frustrated. Angry. Stressed.
  • A = Yell at kids. Do it myself anyway.
  • R = Negative relationship with kiddos.

Your brain wants to agree with itself. So if you say something in your brain, it will look for evidence to prove it true. Scientists call it confirmation bias. If you’re thinking negative things, it will find evidence. If you’re thinking positive things, it will find evidence.

Confirmation-Bias
Confirmation Bias.
  • C = I have kids.
  • T = My kids are learning to listen better.
  • F = Empowered.
  • A = Devise and implement plan with rewards and consequences on how to get kids to listen better.
  • R = Kids listen better, less stressed parenting.

You can’t control everything, but you can learn to control your thoughts. And then you can get your life moving in the direction you want it to! Let’s go back to the first question. What are the strongest thoughts you’re having these days? What do you find yourself repeating over and over in your head? Now, do you like the direction those thoughts will take you?

If you need help in this area, I can help you! My coaching format is 2 half an hour calls a week where we discuss your situation, your thoughts and we devise plans to get you where you want to be in life. Contact me for more info!

 

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