Your brain is super smart. Like really really smart. Your brain is capable of solving your problems. If you ask your brain a question or to solve your problem, it will do it! We just have to give it the time and space as well as the right questions.
We’re also going to practice the idea of curiosity over criticism. If you’re constantly criticizing yourself and asking bad questions, you’re keeping yourself in a negative loop that will not allow you to get the results you seek. You cannot get a positive result from a negative method. If your method is negative, you will continue to produce negative results in your life. If instead, you choose to be kind, curious and compassionate with yourself, you will give yourself the space you need to answer your questions and solve your problems. So, let’s look at a few more examples of questions.
Why is my house always a mess?
My brain would probably answer, “Because you’re lazy.” Is that what your brain said too? How is that helpful brain? Sheesh. You see, when we ask these types of questions we open the door for self-shaming, don’t we? What’s more, it’s just not true. I bet you’re go, go, going and do, do, doing. Lazy people don’t do that. You’re not lazy. You’re probably just busy and behind and you don’t have a system that is working, am I right?
- How can I make chores easier?
- How can I make things easier to put away?
- What would it feel like to have a well-kept home?
- What needs to happen for me to have a tidy home?
- Who can help me get my home in order? (Shameless plug for me here, but also your family)
Why am I always out of money?
I think my brain would answer this like, “Because you spend it as soon as you get it, DUH!” Like, my brain would not be nice even though I’ve trained it better. Instead, I can carefully craft the question to prompt more helpful responses. These responses inspire action. They give you some ownership and call you to action, don’t they?
- What am I spending my money on?
- Where exactly is my money going each paycheck?
- How can I increase my income?
- How would more money help me?
- Why do I need more money?
Why can’t I lose weight?
Even if you answer this question rationally and not in a critical way, it still doesn’t help. Watch: Because I eat too much and I don’t workout enough. Okay, great. That may be part of the problem, but there is no inherent solution. Our best questions provide solutions not shame or more problems.
- What would need to happen for me to lose weight?
- Why do I want to lose weight?
- How can I make losing weight easy? Fun?
- How can I be happy and lose weight?
Now, I want you to get out a piece of paper and think about what goal you’re working on right now, or even something that is bothering you. Write down some good questions you can ask. Then answer them if you can. But, if you can’t don’t worry. Your brain will work on it. Don’t be surprised if you have an epiphany while you’re at the store tomorrow or when you wake up this weekend. Your brain will be working on answering your questions and solving your problems.
If you’d like some help with these areas, click the work with me button top right and we can schedule a coaching session. You don’t have to walk through the battle alone, I’m here to guide, coach, listen and support! ❤