Sometimes, stuff is hard. Sometimes stuff sucks. Sometimes, we feel bad. We’re human and this is the human experience.
There is good and bad in the world, we know this. There is joy and there is pain. We seem to get this on the macro level. But when it comes to the micro, the day-to-day, we get lost and seem to think we should be happy all the time.
But, kids get sick, people disappoint, cars breakdown. It’s impossible to be happy all the time. Well, unless you’re psychopath with no feelings. You should feel bad when bad things happen. It’s okay.
But nope. We’ve been sold the lie that we can and should be happy all the time. So then, when we’re NOT happy we think we’ve done something wrong or, worse, that we are something wrong. As in, there’s something wrong with us.
There’s not, you’re human. Sometimes things don’t feel happy and that’s okay. Yet, because we believe we should be happy all the time we do things like eat and drink and Netflix to avoid those negative emotions.
Then guess what happens? We feel bad that we felt bad and we feel bad that we did the avoidance behavior. We might also find ourselves feeling anxious about our anxiety or depressed about our depression. So now, we’re feeling bad about feeling bad about feeling bad. It’s a vicious cycle.
Instead, what if you just accepted that sometimes you feel bad? And those feelings aren’t awesome, but they’re human. And they give beautiful contrast to the good times, don’t they? You can’t know joy without knowing pain. You can’t know good if you don’t know bad.
So, at the very least, please stop feeling bad about feeling bad. It’s compounding your pain and your problems.
At the very most, if you need help dealing with negative emotions or the resulting behaviors, you can hire a coach (me) to help you work through it. Click the work with me button up top.