Generosity generates goodness

At least six years ago, my Pastor preached something that has stuck with me ever since:

Generosity generates goodness.

 

I’ve just finished editing my chapter on generosity for my upcoming book and I wanted to share a exactly two thoughts I’ve had about this idea.

  1. It’s by design.
  2. Think a good thing, do a good thing.

Many of my life lessons come from my favorite television show FRIENDS. Perhaps you remember the one where Joey proved to Phoebe that there is no such thing as a selfless good deed. In the episode, she lets a bee sting her so he could look tough in front of his bee friends. Of course, the bee died. Whoops! In another example, Phoebe gives money to a charity she doesn’t like but it ends up helping Joey, so she feels good inside. Ding ding ding!!!

Generosity generates good feelings for those you are generous to but the biggest winner is usually you. Yes, you’re the one that ends up with a lot of warm fuzzy feelings inside. And rightly so. Isn’t it awesome that when we do good things and are generous, we receive a lot of good too? The joy and satisfaction of helping other humans is awesome. It is awesome but I also believe it’s by design. Because when all that goodness is generated by generosity guess what’s likely? More generosity. More goodness. Well played God, well played.

Another mantra I like to use when it comes to generosity is to think a good thing, do a good thing. Many times we think about doing something nice but we don’t actually do that something. We think of calling a relative. We think of praising a child for something small they did. We think of paying for someone’s lunch who is counting change. We think of dropping off food at a friend’s house who is feeling sick. Heck, we see a lady at the grocery rocking a pretty dress and think maybe we should tell her so. But somehow, we get stopped in our tracks before the actual DOING begins. That happens for many reasons. We get busy, we feel awkward or we feel like our thing will be inadequate. Isn’t interesting how those reasons are all self-focused? Especially since generosity is supposed to be others-focused? So, let’s flip the script.

Imagine a world where no one held back good things? How much joy, gratitude and goodwill would that worldworld be filled with? Well, we can’t control the world, but I can control me and you can control you. Why don’t we just agree, right now, that we’ll act on those little thoughts that come up? Those little, teeny tiny ideas or impulses? If you think a good thing, do a good thing.

 

Shame is a choice

Yesterday I was reading a book review my friend sent me on Rachel Hollis’ new book. She sent it because we had collectively decided to return her book (audible) and try something else. Even though Rachel is AWESOME, it wasn’t what we were looking for.

As I was reading the review, I nodded along for a bit. Then I had to stop as the reviewer went on and on about how Rachel was fat shaming folks by writing lines like:

  • “There are no overweight animals in nature.”
  •  She described her breastfeeding E-size boobs as “Enormous, as in Yowza.”
  • “It’s so simple to lose weight…It’s simple, but not easy.”

That’s when I stopped reading. Here’s a thinker:

SHAME IS A CHOICE.

Just like being overweight, choosing to feel shame is a choice. Just like losing weight, deciding to let go of shame is really hard. I’m not denying that. But no one can make you feel a certain way without your consent. Therefore, no one can make you feel shame about being overweight without your consent.

Shame is time stolen by the devil. While guilt can be productive and motivate change or better behavior, shame serves no function other than to make you feel bad about yourself. Shame is absolutely useless, just like all the extra fat I’m carrying around right now.

One of the biggest problems in our society today is how we point fingers at others who make us feel a certain way. Guess what? You are the only one in charge of that. If you don’t agree with other people’s opinions, that’s just fine. If you don’t think losing weight is simple, that’s fine. But choosing to feel bad because of someone else’s thoughts is not fine. Also, choosing to point fingers is also not fine.

Now, I’m not saying it’s an easy habit to break. Just like reaching for the red wine or chips (me!), it’s a hard habit to break. What you can do instead is get really curious. If you feel yourself getting defensive while reading or hearing something, stop and investigate why. It might be because underneath there is some underlying shame about that particular topic. Maybe you read about homeschooling and felt defensive. Maybe you heard about another person doing a business idea you’d thought about and felt a certain kind of way. It’s likely the shame monster is trying to rear it ugly head. So, ask questions.

Are you actually just fine with your weight and no one else, especially a rich thin woman, can make you feel a certain way? Good, then you can just be happy for her and be happy for you.

Are you actually totally enjoying the free time you have when your kids are at school, satisfied with their schooling and their character? Good! Then be happy for that person and for yourself.

Can you acknowledge that your season in life isn’t the best for a new business but when it is you’re going to rock it? Fine! Then be happy for that person and for yourself.

These are some “light-hearted” examples that life coaching can help with. There are, of course, some traumatic events that cause shame that require therapy. Still, I stand by this idea:

Shame, like any other emotion is a choice.

It does take some serious mind-management to conquer it but it can be done.

Girl, stop feeling shame. Also, stop shaming people about shaming people. 😉

 

Create your own domino effect: Part 1

Your thoughts create your reality. It’s a memorable phrase. It’s so important it’s one of five Jen Sincero chose from her entire book to record into her “You Are A Badass” button. (think Staple’s easy button) I own that button, thanks to my ex-boss gave me.

Your thoughts create your reality.

Even though it’s true, it sounds kind of hippy dippy. So, let’s try to “prove” this idea is to use the model created by Brooke Castillo. In this model, C stands for Circumstance, T = thoughts, F = feelings (emotions), A = actions and finally, R = results.

  • C = I have 24 hours in a day.
  • T = I am too busy.
  • F = Anxious. Frustrated. Overwhelm.
  • A = Look around at all there is to do and instead binge eat, drink or Netflix to avoid the feeling of overwhelm, which adds to the feeling of having too much to do.
  • R = Perpetually busy.

So, if you look at this particular example, can you see how the result (REALITY) of being perpetually busy continues to prove and REINFORCE your thought of being too busy? So, in this way your thoughts create your reality. Is it a coincidence? Let’s try it again.

  • C = I have a job.
  • T = My job sucks.
  • F = Annoyed. Hopeless.
  • A = Show up to work in a funk. Don’t perform well. Slug through each day, barely making it.
  • R = Continue being unhappy at job.

So, your thought that your job sucks creates the reality of you continuing to dislike your job. Your thoughts create your reality. Your thoughts are the initial domino that set everything, including your feelings and results, into motion.

Let’s look at both examples one more time and see if we can change the thought variable to produce a different outcome in the results (reality).

  • C = I have 24 hours in a day.
  • T = I get to choose what I spend my time on today.
  • F = Peace. Freedom. Hope.
  • A = Take a time inventory. Look at schedule, remove things that are not in alignment with priorities. Choose things that you want and need to accomplish. Say no thanks to everything else.
  • R = Accomplish what’s necessary and important to me.

Do you see how changing your thoughts created a different reality? The truth is that our thoughts are almost the only thing in the model that we have control over. Sometimes we can change our circumstances, but most of the time we would’ve already done that in these extreme examples if we could’ve. We also can’t control the results or outcomes. Right? We can control the trajectory TOWARD those results, but they’re farther away, they’re in the future. Really, we can control our thoughts. Those thoughts determine how we feel. Those feelings then domino into our actions. Those actions, over and over again, domino into our results.

Here’s our second example.

  • C = I have a job.
  • T = My job provides for myself and my family. OR I like my coworkers. OR My work schedule allows me to do the things I enjoy on my time off. OR I can’t control everything about my job, but I CAN control what I do. I can make my small part enjoyable and be proud of my work.
  • F = Grateful.
  • A = Show up to work grateful, do a good job.
  • R = Peace with job.

So, think about what domino effect you want to create in your life today, this week, this month or this year. Can you figure out what thoughts you need to have in order to set that domino effect in motion?

In a much more practical way, I want to talk to you about how to create your own positive domino effect in terms of actions. That’s part 2!

 

 

Sticking to your word

I hope you’re having a wonderful week! I know the week after DST can be challenging for many reasons, but we’re almost through. MAYBE just maybe your body is beginning to pick up on the trick that was just played on it.

Anyway, this post is not about saying one thing and doing it as you may have thought upon clicking on that title. Instead, it’s about sticking to the word you chose for yourself for this year.

Yes, many folks choose a word for the year that encompasses how they want to feel and what they want to accomplish. It’s a little different than a goal or resolution and it’s a great way to get a jumpstart on becoming the person you want to be.

If you didn’t do this at the beginning of the year, that’s okay. Do it now. What’s the worst that can happen? Here’s a fun way to find yours.

Okay, now that everyone’s got their word, let’s move on to how to stick to it! Here it is:

Ask yourself each morning.

Yes, each morning, at a minimum ask yourself how you will ____. For example, my word for the year is free. There’s a lot of context to that, but that’s not the point of this post. So, each morning I journal, “How will I be free today?” and then I get about the business of answering it. Today’s example:

Today I am free to do work that I love. I will have a life coaching session, a business coaching session and a personal training session. (not being locked into one type of coach is a big reason I chose free) I get to run and workout outside in nature. I’ll spend a small block of time tidying up my home while listening to some amazing, spirit-lifting music and I’ll be free of any anxiety that comes from an unkempt home. I’ll feel so free that my cup overflows and I can pour out into my kids and husband my joy, love and excitement.

As you can see, this doesn’t take long, especially the more you do it. This one simple journal exercise takes maybe five minutes but it allows you to be intentional with your time and your day. This exercise gives you a clear focus in the morning to brainstorm any actions and thoughts you can have in order to really align yourself with your word.

If you chose a word but you’re not being intentional about living it, what was the point?

The point of the word is not that it simply manifests without your effort, at least I don’t think so. I think you do your part and God will do his part.

So, give it a try. If you can’t journal, maybe say it outloud (we need something more intentional than thoughts in your head if we can). Or, grab a partner and keep each other accountable and send voice messages in the morning. Either way, this practice will help you stick to your word. I’d love to hear what your word is in the comments!

It’s going to take time.

Happy Friday! I hope you crushed it this week! And even if you didn’t, I know you can find at least one victory that you can be proud of!

I want to talk to you about the goals and resolutions you set for yourself this year. Each person reading this is at a different point in achieving those goals. Some of you are making progress and you’re motivated by the results you’re seeing. Some of you might be feeling discouraged because you’re not still making progress or maybe you’ve almost given up.

Today, I want you to renew your mind. I want you to commit to the idea that it’s going to take time to reach your goal. It’s going to take time. It’s going to take failing. It’s going to take a little frustration. But mostly, it’s going to take time.

Commit to the time it’s going to take to achieve your goal. Why? Because you need that time in order to become who you need to become to be that person.

Imagine a kid who turns 16 and gets their driver’s license without any training or testing. What happens when they go out on the road? It ain’t pretty.

What they actually needed was that six months or a year to really train, to take the time it requires to become a driver. They needed to become a person who checks their blind spot, who knows how to brake slowly, who knows how to yield. They even needed a few close calls to become the person who can react quickly and handle the pressure of a split second decision.

And so it is with your goals. Where you’re going is really about who you are becoming in the process. If you got to the end goal without the process, you wouldn’t know how to act or be once you got there! And what does that mean? It means you’d lose your license pretty quickly.

So if you’re becoming a person who lost 50 pounds, you have to commit to the time and work it will take to get there. You already know it’s not going to happen instantly. So, use the time to commit to learning about your relationship with food and learning about fueling yourself. You need the time to learn how 50-pounds lighter you is going to act in stressful times. You need the time to learn how 50-pounds lighter you is going to get to the gym on the days she doesn’t feel like it. In this way, when you get there, you’re ready to stay there! But those things are teeny tiny little details.

If you’re becoming a person who is debt free, you have to commit to the time and work it will take to get there. It’s not going to happen overnight. Commit to the time it’s going to take for you to learn to manage your finances. Afterall, a financially free person has to know how to stay that way. You need the time to learn how you find fulfilment in non-material things. You need the time to learn how financially-free you is going to be patient and budget for priorities rather than pay for them on credit. It takes time, but you need that time to grow into the person you’re going to be!

Finally, if you’re becoming a happily married person, you need to commit to the time and work it will take to get there. Imagine that in a year, you’re living a different life where you and your spouse totally enjoy each other’s company. You laugh, you play, you dream together. You need that entire year to collect the skills it takes to push through frustration, anger, hurt, stress and all the other things you’re going to face. You need the time to learn how the happy you behaves, responds and reacts. You need that time to figure out how the happily-married version of you communicates and relates to your spouse.

So, today, make the commitment. It’s going to take time. But you need that time. You have that time. It’s going to be totally worth it!

Happy Friday!

 

If you need a coach to help you achieve your goals, let’s work together. Fill out this contact form and we can schedule a free consultation!

Are you distracting yourself with pleasure?

Yesterday I was listening to Storybrand by Donald Miller while doing some tedious spreadsheet work for business.  A quote he mentioned was so good it stopped me in my tracks and I wrote in my open planner next to my laptop.

“When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.”

-Viktor Frankl

Isn’t that good? Because I’m a life coach, my mind immediately began spinning.

We overeat to distract ourselves from the truth that we’re not living a life we fill has meaning or purpose. We overdrink to distract ourselves from the truth that we’re not living a life we fill has meaning or purpose. We over NETFLIX to distract ourselves from the truth that we’re not living a life we fill has meaning or purpose.

Now, I’ve mostly figured this out because my behaviour typically looks like this these days:

  • Clean home, hug kids, work, fulfilled, fun.
  • OMG I am starving, I am SO HUNGRY. Must eat!
  • Eat something healthy but delicious.

However my life used to look like this:

  • I am so bored. Being a SAHM is dumb. Nobody respects me.
  • At least I have mashed potatoes.
  • Yummmmm.

Here’s another example:

  • Sigh. Another day, all I did was wipe buts and clean up.
  • I’ll reward (distract) myself with Beer & Netflix.

That’s really simplifying it, but that usually makes a concept easier for me to understand. Because the plight of the SAHM has been beating me over the head for quite some time now, I took it in that context. When we seek these pleasures it’s not necessarily just because we have bad habits, we’re addicted to sugar and so forth. Perhaps it has more to do with being unfulfilled, with not being connected to our meaning or our purpose.

What happened, slowly, for me was that I really studied and worked on how important the SAHM role was. How every little thing I did made a difference and was important. I stopped looking externally for that validation, but started tracking it inside and with ,y creator.

For example, I started thinking that having a clean and organized home meant not only me but also my family could relax, feel at peace.  I realized I was one of the most important factors in the well being of my family. By doing those things I considered mundane, I made our lives less stressful. There were less fights and less anxiety.

Likewise, I started to really wrap my mind around the fact that I was my son’s very best teacher. That I was uniquely qualified to bring him up and make him a really awesome human.

Really tuning into my purpose, especially in that season, lessened the need to distract myself. I could be proud and tuned in to what was going on.

Now, on the flip side I’ve also worked, gone to school and such. So, we can definitely take this concept there as well. If you are dialed into the day to day meaning and purpose of your life, I bet you won’t need to distract yourself with pleasures so much. If you’re doing work you feel called to do, you’re dialed in. If you’re doing work that you don’t feel called to do, you can dial into the fact that you’re providing for you and your family. That’s huge. And it can help you.

Let’s look at another example. I coach folks in the financial realm as well. This quote we’re studying applies here as well. You see, if we are not tuned into the meaning and purpose of being debt free, it will be super easy to distract ourselves with Amazon, TJ Maxx and going out to eat. However, if you are super tuned into the purpose of living financially free, of the feeling that gives you, the options it gives your family, the stress it takes away from your marriage…boy oh boy, you’ll find it much easier not to be distracted.

That’s all for today. I want you to think about the distractions in your life. Remember, pleasure in and of itself is not a bad thing. It’s ALLOWED! However, pleasure that comes at the expense of our best selves, our purpose and our ideal life is the kind of distraction we don’t need. So, think about your distractions. Think about your meaning, your purpose. How can you tune in?

 

Vision Boards: Just Do It

Have you ever created a vision board? If you haven’t, I’m sure you’ve seen them. I want to chat with you a bit today about what they are, why you should do one and then go a little bit into the HOW.

First, vision boards are visual representation of your hopes, your dreams and your goals for your own life. I talk a lot about Life By Design, and this is exactly that.

Next, WHY. Why should you create a vision board this year? The first, and most important, reason is because it requires you to set aside time and space to think and dream. Yes, to think about what you actually want. Most people walking around have no idea what they want except for that next Starbucks or Netflix binge. We’re not going to be like that. Moreover, vision boards require you to dream. There’s this gap between graduating from school and retirement where we stop dreaming. At either bookend, we’re all dreamy eyed and have this I-can-do-anything attitude. We should not spend the middle part of our lives not dreaming. But, then again, when is the last time you really dreamed about all the possibilities in your life? Exactly.

Another reason why is that research shows that goals that are written down are 42 percent more likely to succeed. Then there’s the idea from neuropsychologists of generation. When you read a book you get inspiration and ideas. But when you come up with them on your own you’ll remember them and be even more likely to, you know, do them. That’s what a vision board will do for you. It’ll give you the space to generate your own ideas, desires and hopes for your life. Finally, vision boards work with that same subliminal messaging idea that we hear from commercial advertising. Everytime your brain sees that board, it will subliminally be reminded to do and be the things you’ve dreamt.

There’s also the Law of Attraction to consider. That law is just the concept of like attracts like. The positive, joyful, hopeful energy you will put out as you create your board will attract those things to happen. It just will. It’s the law.

Finally! How. Here is a 4-page workbook that will get your juices flowing. A must do!

Supplies:

  • Canvas: Whatever you prefer. Canvas, Corkboard, Paper, Poster Board.
  • Markers: So you can draw / write / embellish.
  • Scissors.
  • Magazines: And anything else that you can cut inspiring images from.
  • Glue: Either glue, a glue stick, mod podge or liquid cement. Whichever you prefer!
  • Momentos: Any Momentos or photos that you want to use in your 2019 vision!
  • Time: You MUST commit to making the time and creating the space to dream. It’s just a little bit. And it’s well worth it!

A vision board is not a logic board. It’s not even just a goal board. It also represents the overall feeling and vibe that you want to achieve! So, you need to figure out how you want to FEEL.

One amazing way to do that is to go through that workbook. Challenge yourself even in areas where you think you’re good. For example, I feel strong in the area of faith. My habits, serving and giving are pretty good. But I don’t want to settle. So, I chose a new way to serve that’s out of my comfort zone this year.

Next, flip through magazines. See what things stand out to you. What is attractive to you? What represents how you want to feel, what you want to do, how you want to be. For example, check out this photo! I never would’ve come up with it on my own but it TOTALLY embodies how I want to be and feel this next year as I move into the mountains. And she’s wearing my colors.

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So, workbook. Music. Magazines. Flip. Tear entire magazine pages out, don’t worry about cutting until you’re done entirely. Grab momentos. Then organize them and put it all onto your board! Stand back and admire your handiwork.

Your next steps are to arm yourself with scripture, mantras and truths that you can repeat in your mind that affirm your vision. Confront any fear or excitement you have over what’s on your board. Finally, put your board somewhere you’ll see it everyday!

Last, but not least, be ready for that vision to happen! Check out this video from my 2016 Vision Board when I realized everything came true! MIND BLOWING!

Big Girl Panties Academy

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I AM SO EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE THIS!

I’ve spent the last year putting together all the tools and tricks of what has worked for me, my clients and my mentors into a book. I also spent last year getting my certification as a Life Coach. The next step is what this post is all about!

This year I’m refining my content and process in a new way that’s open to you. It’s called the Big Girl Panties Academy. Here’s how it will work. 12 months. You & me and other like-minded folks. There will be monthly audio files (so you can listen while driving or folding laundry), a monthly workbook and then ONE group coaching call. Yes, we will all get on together and work through the material together. We’re going to hit a new topic each month and really do the deep work to improving every area of our lives.

So, that goal for 2019 to find balance? To do some personal development? Let’s do that. Let’s do it together. Let’s become better versions of ourselves. Together. It’s one thing to read a book or do something by yourself. It’s a whole ‘nother thing to do it with a group of like-minded folks who are having similar struggles! It’s so important to be heard. It’s so important to feel like you belong. It’s so nice to know you’re not the only crazy person.

Okay, so the idea behind Big Girl Panties is that we all have the power within to make our lives exactly what we want them to be. We don’t have to rely on external sources, we can put our big girl panties on and take charge of life. We can do the hard things.

This year, I’d like to tackle the following topics each month. I know I need CONTINUAL work in all of these areas. I need continual REFLECTION and GROWTH in all of these areas. Personally, I am addicted to self-improvement and especially to those deep conversations they trigger with others who feel the same. However, I know personally reading a book doesn’t always cut it. So, we’ll listen, write and then chat together. Here’s what I’m proposing.

  • January: Life by Design
  • February: Love, Expectations & Marriage
  • March: Home Reset (Declutter & Organize)
  • April: Get Your Mind Right
  • May: 4Es of Love (Embrace, Encourage, Empower, Enjoy)
  • June: Rituals & Self Care
  • July: Every Body has a Challenge (Food, Fitness & Body Image)
  • August: Productivity & Organization
  • September: Home Economics (Finances, Budget, Savings, Goals, Etc)
  • October: Tribe & Relationships
  • November: Mental Health
  • December: Generosity

So, what do you think? Would you be excited to work on these things together? We’re talking about going to the University of YOU! If you’re committed this year to really bettering yourself, this is the moment. Let’s do it together.

I’m not going to overload you with information or with appointments or even host this on social media. I’m going to make this as easy as possible. I’m going to send you 1 email with links for the audio chats to listen to each month along with an accompanying workbook for you to work through. Then we’re going to have one online group coaching session the third week of the month and talk it all through. There is power in community y’all!

If you’re in, sign up below! Pricing will be a really easy to swallow $25 / month. It’s my intention to WAY over deliver on the value of this Academy so that you get way more than $25 worth! Pay here. Fill your info out below and you’ll receive an email from me!

Let’s do this. Together.

 

Gaining Gratitude

Before we get into setting all of these high expectations for ourselves in 2019 wouldn’t it be nice if we took a moment to sit and think about all the good that happened in 2018?
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I have the perfect worksheet for you. Print one out or even a few to do with your family over the holidays. Why?
Well, gratitude is not just a warm fuzzy that pairs perfectly with Christmas. It’s also a common denominator between the happiest and most healthy people in the world.

 

The attitude of gratitude affects more than just turning the frown upside down. Research suggests people who are optimistic and practice gratitude even have higher functioning immune systems, lower blood pressure and sleep better according to Robert A. Emmons, professor of psychology at UC Davis.

Another study done out of the School of Medicine at University of California San Diego found those grateful attitudes also happened to have better heart health that included less inflammation and healthier heart rhythms. Again, this study showed better sleep.

In fact, studies of those who kept a gratitude journal showed reduced fat intake through the diet as well as lower cortisol (stress hormone) levels. Science has also shown it can reduce the effects of aging on the brain.

What’s more is gratitude is an antidote to anxiety. Dopamine and serotonin increase when gratitude brain circuits are activated which acts like a natural antidepressant.

Whoa! So why aren’t we more grateful?

What’s interesting is that it’s actually harder for our brains to focus on gratitude. In fact, our brains have been hardwired to focus on danger and things that are potentially negative. That’s part of why many folks use the phrase “practice gratitude.”

Because it takes practice to see things from the gratitude perspective.

One study matched gratitude practices with brain imaging and showed the more gratitude work folks did, the more activity showed up in the scan in that region of the brain. Ultimately, gratitude was shown to be a specific emotion as one that can be “exercised” to grow.

One small way you can try to incorporate gratitude is to keep a daily gratitude journal. Taking just five minutes before you go to bed to think of three things you’re grateful for can begin to rewire those rigid neuropathways in the brain. The more we practice gratitude, the more our brain will notice things to be grateful for. So, try doing it for just one week.

Another way to practice gratitude is to take advantage at meal times to go around the table to say just one thing you’re grateful for with your family.

Finally, a gratitude assessment is one approach Darren Hardy presents in his book “The Compound Effect.” His idea is for you to come up with three things about the most important subjects in your life you can be grateful for. Those topics include your life, your health, your work, your home, your experiences and times you’ve been “lucky.”

As we continue into the holiday season, why not give one or all of these practices a try? Don’t forget to print this worksheet out and do it with your framily over the holidays!

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Red light action

Let’s talk about sticking to your goals today. My amazing mentor Brooke Castillo has a really good metaphor we’re going to use to set this up.

We’ll use the idea of going to the grocery store to illustrate it.

When you decide you need groceries you start taking action. In fact, you don’t stop taking action until you get the groceries home and put away. 

Maybe you make a list. You grab your keys. You get into the car and drive to the store.

On the way, you hit a red light. You don’t think, “Oh no, I’ve been stopped. I tried, I really did. But I still have no groceries. I’m just going to stop trying. I’m going to give up and go home.”

Nope, you just wait for the light to turn green and you keep moving.

Maybe you hit another red light. Or you’re waiting because traffic is heavy. You don’t say to yourself:

  • This is too hard.
  • This is taking too long.
  • This is a sign I should just give up.

Nope. Again, you just keep moving forward. And even the slow checkout doesn’t stop you from getting those groceries home (though it might annoy you).

What if you decided to take action to get the results you want in the same way you go get groceries?

Before you ever leave your house, you’ve accepted that you’re going to have some red lights. It’s going to take at least an hour of your time. You’re probably going to run into some traffic and some left turns against it. But you do it anyway. And you keep doing it until you’re home with those groceries. You don’t give up.

Let’s say you’re trying to lose weight. Accept you’ll have some red lights. Murphy’s law tells me you’re probably going to get sick during your journey. You might hit a plateau. You might eat an entire pizza in one sitting.

What if you just pre-accept those obstacles? What if you know there are going to be some roadblocks on the way to your goal. At the same time, what if you just accept that just like those red lights, you’re going to keep going until you reach your goal?

The same idea would go for trying to build a business, for trying to stop yelling at your kids, for trying to get a schedule or routine going, for improving your marriage. It’s not going to be smooth sailing the entire way. There will be red lights. But that’s just part of the process. And what you can control is that you decide not to give up.

Red light action is about taking action through all the red lights until you get the results you want. How can you apply this to your life today and take red-light-action?

Now, if we were to take this metaphor and extend (torture) it even more, let’s look at the concept of a Jumpstart (by Shana). In your red light action taking world, your car might need a jumpstart. That’s where I come in. I can help you get started. And just like a real jumpstart, you’re going to need to keep running for awhile before you can turn the car off. You’ve got to get that battery recharged by running the engine. So, I’ll stick with you for a while, I will help you as long as it takes, as long as you need. Until you’re ready to take in on your own. 😉